little letters (yeah, i'm copying. whatevs)

dear weekend,

get here already. for reals.


dear antoine de saint-exupery,

i love you so much. you are a genius.


dear bagels,

i'm sorry for not being patient with you. i've possibly eaten 7 in the last 24 hours. my poor tummy.


dear english gods,

please grant me the strength to write this paper before i go to bed tonight.


dear 6 a.m. shift of work,

you are killing me. these gloves aren't protecting my hands from the chemicals that burn through plastic. and these early morning bosses are kinda mean.


dear byu women's basketball team,

i hate you.

how are you 500 times more disgusting than the men? 90% of the time, they get the pee into the toilet. whereas, everyday i have to wipe the urine from the girls' seats! yeah, that crap that you left on the floor last night, i "put it away" so i could vacuum up your pizza mess and toe nail clippings. meaning, if it was by one cubby, i threw it in the cubby completely opposite yours. have fun with that. also, how does a pepperoni get stuck on the wall?.... bah! i'm glad you lost last night.


dear pack of colored paper i bought earlier this month,

why do you not have grey?


dear wall,

thanks for letting me get all color-me-katie on you. it's fun.


dear mom,

happy birthday on sunday, i won't tell anyone you're turning forty.


dear boy,

is it okay if we carve watermelons instead? it might be hard to find pumpkins this time of year.


dear taxes,

i'm so excited to get money back from the government. whoop whoop!


dear paper,

fine. i'm coming.