Last week I was texting while walking home. It was quite a humorous conversation, and Calvin can be very entertaining. However, a stupid tree decided to block my path and run into me. The idiot. So after my face made the abrupt acquaintance of said tree, I hurried on my way. The next day I had a second run-in with the same tree, but departed by giving him a nice, firm kick.
So, last night I went upstairs in the complete dark looking for my computer charger. I remembered having left it by the kitchen table. Not wanting to wake up the kids, I left the lights off. I felt around with my foot in the dark. Having located my charger, I bent down to pick it up. Instead of reaching my goal, I encountered a loud BANG and a bright flash of white light. Immediately I put my hands to the source of screaming pain and feel a sort of dampness. I run to the light switch, flip it on, and find my hands covered in tears and blood. Wonderful. Turns out a wooden chair had jumped out from under the table and bit my eye. I couldn't see out of it for an hour. Thought I was blind. For reals. Stupid karma for kicking that tree.
Also, just now, I forgot that I had a nice gash on my eyelid, had an itch, and mindlessly brought back the sharp pain.
Basically, I'm an idiot.