quote of however-long-I-feel-like:

Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things - trees and grass and sun and moon and stars.

Suppose we have.

Then all I can say is that, in any case, the made - up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones.

-Puddleglum, The Silver Chair

Sunday, February 28, 2010


so, this is my birthday month. it has to be a good one. if not, i'm gonna kick a puppy.

i've decided that i'm going to kick out songs that described february, {change is hard, by she & him}


to bring in fresh start happy songs! {serenade, by emiliana torrini}

oh! wait! how about this???

Saturday, February 27, 2010

February 26th.

In response to Reyna's question, here is what I did with big, macho-man, Mr. The-26th.

We woke up late because I got home late from work last night. Exhausted. With a sore sore throat and burning lungs.

Then, after admiring my pajamas (note: just the pj's, not the face, and maybe the hair), I ate a bowl of Life, and began studying for my amazing English test that was mainly about History and works of Philosophy (who does Levinas think he is?!). Yeah, great class.

Took the test in the music room, did better than expected, but that's not really saying much.

Went to work. Cleaned up after the basketball game that we lost. Found nachos that hadn't been touched, consecrated oil, a nice pen, 3 unopened water bottles, an All Sports Pass, 45 cents, Red Vines, a cougar tail, 2 berets, new Burt's Bees, and Transformers fruit snacks. Pretty good haul if I do say so myself.

I also got to know some awesome freshmen kids. I'm still not sure what their names are, might be Felix, Karl, and Cooper, but I feel like they were making that up. Who have you ever met that's named Felix?

Got off of work, went to the remnants of the Purim party. Then decided to watch Pan's Labyrinth with a Hebrew friend.

However, apparently my body's not okay with having just a cough. After getting off the phone with my Dad and him telling me I should get a blessing, I feel like I need to throw up. Instead, once I reach the hallway, my head starts buzzing really loudly, my vision becomes really dark, and my body can't resist gravity any longer. I end up on the floor. This didn't happen just once, but four different times. And all that my friend Cheekie could do was remark, "Wow! You're really pale! Really, I haven't seen anyone look so pasty as you." I glanced at myself, and sure enough, my lips were the same color as everything else. -pallid.

Kinda like him:

(definitely a character from the movie, fyi)

Yeah, so amazing Jess came to get me, took me to my hometeachers', I got a blessing, and now here we are. I'm just waiting to put in my ear plugs and go to sleep.

Goodnight February 26th, it's been ... fun. 

Friday, February 26, 2010

20 New Things.

Yes, I'm copying her. Hopefully I can do these before my 20th birthday, but seeing as how that's only in a month or so, probably not. So, I have to do these before my 21st birthday.

1. keep up a 365 project.
2. run a 5k. 
3. go to a concert.
4. go raw for at least a month.
5. make a skirt.
6. create a painting/drawing that i'm proud enough of to frame.
7. become proficient enough in a language for natives to understand me.
8. get another stamp in my passport.
9. go on a non-family road trip.
10. go without any make up for a week.
11. bake a loaf of bread from scratch.
12. ask a boy out.
13. wear nothing but skirts and dresses for a month. -i'll probably do this one in florida.
14. look good in a leotard again.
15. get paid for photography.
16. learn how to whistle.
17. take an art class.
18. finish memorizing the Living Christ.
19. stay up for 100 hours straight.
20. get married.

... totally kidding. i just can't think of a good number 20. how about... i take suggestions? it's really stumping me.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Eric Fortune

How do I do this? I am just so in love with the first one. 

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

the love - the drugs.

Dear everyone,

It does not make you cool to talk about curling.

Dear blog friends,

I want to become an animal loving, tree hugging, hippie granola. For reals.

 It has now become my dream to work for National Geographic, travelling the world with only a backpack and my camera.

I will grow out my hair if necessary. I'll switch to all organic. Heck, I might even be willing to give up meat. Reyna, can I go raw with you as well? 

I've always been an earth-lover. I'll stand up for the little critters. Catch the crickets so my mom won't kill them with an airborne shoe. I love outside. I love going barefoot in grass. Well, barefoot anywhere actually. It's all about texture, people. Which is why I am so into these shoes. I love movies and books that are about taking care of the earth we live on and cultivating the free spirit. Hence, Spirit (yes, the one about horses), Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, Ferngully, and Avatar (I want to be a blue person, and I love love love the idea of connecting to nature, also the idea of the "sacred feminine". I believe that the power that women have is incredible and sacred and should be respected, not degraded as it is so often.) One of my most favorite books, People of the Whale, basically discusses the disregard that humans now have for the animals they live with and the environment they live in, how we used to be so connected and in sync with God's creations. I love music with earthy tones, such as: 

The Avett Brothers

(They're making beards seem more attractive)

Fleet Foxes

First Aid Kit

Enough of my weird music tastes. If you want more, check out Devendra Banhart, Jose Gonzalez, Ben Gibbard's Home, The Tallest Man On Earth, Bowerbirds, Josh Ritter and GOASTT.

Because of living with the wonderful earth conscious Erin and James, I have learned about home birthing, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, and family strengthening ideas in general. They've also helped teach me how to be more culturally conscious and that focusing on others should always be one of my priorities.

If school gets any more overwhelming, I might just layer up and go live in the mountains. You're free to join me. 

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

If A Day Could Talk.

Remember how I have Spanish class in Salt Lake City?

Well, yesterday the other girl didn't show, so mi profesor and myself ended up just talking for an hour and a half.

Mostly about the Gospel, which was good, and I needed, but he also talked about making the most of our days.

Pretend that you're hosting a reunion, a get together for all the days of your life. What do you thing some of the conversations would be?

"February 22, 2010, I'd like you to meet February 5, 2010."

"Hullo the 22nd, what did Tiffany do with you?"

"Oh, we went to work, made new friends, went to class, then we had an awesome workout and we discovered that she can still do her awesome handstands and splits. After, we rode the bus to Salt Lake and went to class, but it wasn't the class she was expecting, we learned a lot about life from her teacher, and then we missed the bus. By four minutes. It ended up alright though, we decided to go to Temple Square, follow up on her referral, visit with the sisters, and then had a wonderful conclusion to the night by watching the Joseph Smith movie. Oh! And her amazing friend Reyna found her phone for her. Basically, it was great!" ... "What did she do with you?"

"Nothing. Really, nothing. She sat around and moped for a while, and we saw that same Reyna for a short period of time, but overall, it was quite a depressing time."

"I'm sorry, I mean, you'd only waited for like, what? eternity for your one chance with her. I'm sorry she couldn't appreciate you."

If a day out of your life could talk, what would it say? 

Sunday, February 21, 2010

"Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation. For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand. Remember this, which I tell you before, that you may lay it to heart, and receive that which is to follow. Behold, verily I say unto you, for this cause I have sent you --- that you might be obedient, and that your hearts might be prepared to bear testimony of the things which are to come;"


Thursday, February 18, 2010

So... I think I'm going to the museum on Saturday.

Who's in?

For some reason I feel like I have to clarify. I don't need you guys to come, it would just make it more enjoyable. So, please come.

It's free from 1-4!!!

And check out this:


1:30  •  Dragon Dance performance • Great Hall

1:30  •  Highlights of the General Collection Tour • Meet in the lobby

2:00  •  Utah Chinese Folk Orchestra performance • Great Hall

2:30  •  Highlights of the UMFA’s Chinese Art by Dr. Noelle Lechner • Boardroom, 2nd Floor

3:00  •  Salt Lake Chinese Dance Arts performance • Great Hall

3:30  •  Highlights of the UMFA’s Chinese Art by Dr. Noelle Lechner • Boardroom, 2nd Floor

Oh, and BYU is hosting a Harry Potter dance. And there's a costume contest. Done son. 

Friday, February 12, 2010


The Mormon Castle!

Slightly crooked, but I'll fix it laterz. 

it glows.

bah. these looked better on the little screen on my camera. 

Anyway, basically I'm bored. Loving playradioplay!. Oh, and my brother

I talked to Rochelle today for the first time in... over 2 years? It was nice. Our conversation starter: whether G in the pilot's alphabet was Golf or Georgia.

Last week I talked to Destiny for the first time in 3 years. That was nice as well. She's very understanding and if I ever need to vent I know who to go to. 

No school Monday!!! In the predicament of deciding what to do once again.

Also, today while "working", I was having a "conversation" with "John".  Basically I kept trying to listen to my music while cleaning, and he kept asking me questions about myself. One of these questions was, "what do you like to do with your free time?" My answer? 

"I ride buses."

(I'm an idiot by the way, because this is the first, and only thing that came to mind.) 

He was very confused in response, and for the next ten minutes I tried to make myself sound cooler and  possibly redeem myself. 

Basically all I could come up with was, sometimes it was nice to talk to people on the bus for many reasons, but the most helpful one is to make myself feel better. When I'm feeling all mopey and I'm pitying myself, talking to these people make me realize that my problems really aren't that big. I'm not trying to overcome alcoholism. I'm not pregnant with the 2nd child of my husband who's currently in Honduras and happens to be cheating on me. I didn't have to make the decision to divorce said husband. I don't have to deal with his reaction of coming home to an empty house, possessions and family gone.

Basically, I'm selfish, an idiot, and need to work on handing my problems over to the Lord and trusting in His decisions.  

Sunday, February 7, 2010

ana areed axerj.


I'm starting to feel trapped inside myself again.

What to do?

Friday, February 5, 2010

For obvious reasons, I've been thinking a lot.

Here are some things that I've noticed:

  • I really do blame everything on myself.
  • I need music.
  • I have this thing where I can't let people see me cry. 
  • 99% of the time, I just want a hug. But then hugging leads to crying. And that's not acceptable. Nor will I ever be the one to initiate the hug. 
  • I can't put my thoughts into words very easily. 
  • My urban dictionary name amuses me. slightly. weird that this is the first entry.
Tiffany's are usually very loyal and intellegant people whom usually doesn't trust many guys. She usually has many acquintances, but very few best friends. They are always opened minded and always have to be entertained or be having a good time. Most of time Tiffany's stay single and flirt around.
  • ... bye. 

Thursday, February 4, 2010


I finally did it!  Today was definitely one of firsts.

1. I beat teh computerz on chess!

2. I froze time.

3. I got broken up with. yaay!

4. I had a cannoli.

5. I sparkled toilets and witnessed the use of a "thirsty camel".

Wednesday, February 3, 2010


not a fan of 6 a.m. work.